This here is a brand new feature to Yellow Bunting: our very own Agony Aunts! Editor Becky and new writer Rubyyy [yes, the same Rubyyy we interviewed not too long ago] will be here every issue to answer any burning questions you have. Drop them a line at ask.yellowbunting@yahoo.co.uk
This weeks question is bullying based:
“There’s a group of girls who bully me at school, they call me names and make jokes about me. up until now I’ve ignored it, but it’s recently started getting to me and I don’t know what to do: HELP.”
Becky says: First of all you should tell someone, whether or not it is getting you, it is important that you have someone to talk to. This can be an adult you trust or your best friend but just having someone there to lean on will hopefully make you feel better.
You don’t specify here what type of school you go to, primary or secondary. In primary school, teachers getting involved were great for me but secondary just seemed to complicate things and ended up getting me picked on more. You need to see someone who will offer advice and can help the situation but not make it worse by telling the girls off etc. which may then give them more ammunition. But you do need to make someone aware of the problem, someone you trust and who can help.
Its all well and good fighting your own battles but make sure that you are strong enough to do so. Everyone is strong enough to fight back but this isn’t always the easiest thing, emotionally speaking. Always keep in mind that these girls must be lacking somewhat to need to pick on someone else, for pain to cause them satisfaction means that they have a problem. Anyway, just think, in the long run you will be better off than them, I know this sounds cliché but it is true. I was extremely unhappy but I found people who loved me for me when I got older. I know this doesn’t help now but it is some hope for the future.
In the now, I would as I said speak to someone you know you can trust, maybe not a parent as they may be over protective towards you but definitely speak to someone. This can’t go on and it is unfair on you to have to accept what they are doing. Just remember, again cliché but true, you are the better person! If they need to make someone feel bad to gain their kicks then they must be some sad individuals!
Rubyyy says: Hi there! Thanks for your question and sorry to hear things have been a little rough on you lately. I think most people have been bullied, I myself was bullied quite a bit in middle school and high school (sorry! Canadian!).
My assault, just so you know it’s fair to call bullying assault, was mostly verbal; majority of the attacks were on my weight and my appearance, some simply for being an outspoken woman. I think it’s important to nip things in the bud as bullying is something that can easily escalate; mine did and that’s when I was finally pushed into action.
I know sometimes we fear going to ‘superiors’ such as teachers, parents, managers when it comes to things like this, that we will be rejected, hushed or told “it’s just part of growing up” but it’s not and it shouldn’t be and you should seek out an elder who can advise you and protect you.
You have every right to feel safe and secure in your school, work neighborhood and it’s worth any initial nerves or bumps when seeking out someone who will help.
Know that you are taking care of yourself and others, now and in the future, by asking for assistance.
Big hugs!
Love and Light,
Rubyyy