Sex? Or not to sex?

23 Nov

Is it me or are kids (if we can still call them that) growing up far too quick for their age these days?! I know I probably sound about 40 years my senior, but seriously 14 year old girls, caked in make-up, dressed in pencil skirts and 7ft heels is ridiculous! I can’t even cope with heels at 21 years old, let alone any younger. I see these kiddie boppers waltzing around the shopping centre like it’s London Fashion Week and it’s scary seeing this maturity in them that I only managed to achieve at the age of 20 (ish).

I remember being 14 and literally wishing my life away to an age of independent discovery; a place where I could drive, stay out past 8:30pm without my mother having a heart attack and turning into Liam Neeson from Taken. It’s ironic because at 14 I wished to be older, and wiser, but now I actually am older  (not so much wiser), I realise that you should never wish time away, whatever age you are.

There are first times for everything in life, especially through the teenage years and one should never attempt to complete them all at such a young age. There are essential rebellious firsts that make you feel “cool” like your first cigarette. I was 13 and it was gross. It baffles me that smoking was ever seen as cool back in the day, and I built myself up so much to try it, thinking I would gain my debut into awesomeness, but not only did I cough and splutter, I remained a weird kid for the rest of my school life.

Aside from these kinds of firsts, there are the more serious firsts that will always be reflected on throughout life. These are things like first love, first heartbreak, and first time to have sex…

Now what would you guess to be the average age for girls to lose their virginities? 17? Maybe 16?  To be honest I don’t think you can put an age on it because it totally depends on when YOU feel ready, and that differs girl to girl. I know girls who were 15 and some girls who waited until they were 20. The point I’m trying to address is that girls should never be bullied into giving up something that is rightfully there’s to give! It p*sses me off when you get a group of girls and only one of them is still a virgin. They can be made to feel excluded, embarrassed, frigid, unattractive, lonely…the list goes on. It saddens me because this bullying is coming from their “friends.” This can cause girls to sleep around to fit in and being bullied into having sex is happening more often because girls are having sex younger and younger. Bullying within a friendship group is the worst type of bulling in my opinion, because people should feel most like themselves around their friends. This kind of pressure and exclusion from friends can cause a girl to lose her V to any Tom, Dick, or Harry (pun absolutely intended).

Whether you’re 15, or whether you’re 35, my point is you can’t put an age on readiness. It’s about being comfortable with someone who isn’t pushing you to “do it”, and you may meet that person as a teenager or in your early 20’s. Everyone’s different and within a friendship group, you always want to be up to date with your friends, but in this case it should be personal. The first time will be remembered throughout life, as cheesy as it sounds it’s true, and it’s so sh*t when it’s looked back on with regret.

Not, only that if a girl looses her virginity through pressure and bullying, that will stay with her and she won’t bat an eyelid to things like sexism, and sexualisation because that’s what they know! As a collective gender, we are sexualised enough through media portrayal, so we need to hold on tight to our personal sexual freedom people!

Only give it away when WE want to, not when it’s wanted by others.


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