Ask Us Anything!

23 Aug

“Recently I’ve noticed one of my friends is becoming slightly more manipulative than she used to be. We always end up doing what she wants to, when she wants to and on occasion have not gone out with certain people because she doesn’t ‘feel like it’. It bothering me more and more, but I’m not too sure how to talk to her about this!”

Hmmmmm Well, I would question the level of dependency in your relationship for a start. The fact that she is “slightly more manipulative” means you’ve always perceived her, on some level, to be manipulative. Why did you accept it? Why was that ever fine? Just check in with yourself there and be honest… On the other hand… Needing to control situations externally could be a sign of feeling a lack of control and understanding within yourself.

Perhaps your friendship needs a little space, a little breathing room; sometimes when friendships become co-dependent, as yours might be, an individual craving space may assert authority, seek control, to find some phantom peace or to enforce a boundary which they feel may give them mental or emotional space. I would take a little time for you and reassess the situation. If the behavior continues, it’s a matter of a frank and heartfelt conversation about feeling unseen, unheard within the friendship. A tricky conversation admittedly but not one you can dance around; give your feelings a measured voice and approach your friend with kindness and openness; who knows, she may be going through something, had some trauma or just need an invitation to share. Be clear in this, be balanced and really give power to you and your desired outcome! Best of luck!

Love and Light

 

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