Ask Us Anything!

18 May

“I’m dating a slightly older guy [I’m 20 and he’s 29] and some of my friends keep bringing up the age difference which is starting to annoy me. We’ve been dating for just under a year and while I’ve tried telling them to leave it alone they won’t quit. How can I get them to see what I see?”

Hi there! Thanks for the question! Hmmm… Wish we could have a chat because I would like to ask you some more questions really… I would have asked you: what is it, more specifically, that your friends say? Do they think he’s pushing you too fast or in the wrong way? Do the think he’s influencing you in a way that may not be healthy? Or is it just teasing – calling him Grandpa Hot or whatever – which is more directly about the difference…
I have, more often than not, dated people who were older than me. This has never been my intent and I have dated people the same age or only slightly older and to be honest, it has just been who I was attracted to and that’s that.
Not knowing the specifics of the situation I’ll go with the angle that’s not just playful teasing SO I would advise that you take some quiet space to consider what your friends have said.
Take some quiet time alone, light a candle, sit on the floor, breathe deeply and quiet your mind and heart. Imagine the things your friend’s have said in a little cloud, a speech bubble and reading/replay it in your mind… Notice what your heart and that little voice in your head or gut says, does a part of you connect with what they are saying?
If it’s a no and/or it’s the teasing option, you need to be a bit firmer in your communication with your friends because essentially you’re not being heard and that can really effect friendships over time.
If it’s a “yes” you do feel a part of you connecting with their worries, questions or whatever you need to spend some more time exploring that. Be honest with yourself. Open up to yourself and your heart and hear what you really want and need; then maybe you need to have a little chit chat with your boyfriend..
I wish I could help more! But either way, you need to reconnect with how how you feel and then be firm in yourself and whatever communication what will develop out of that conversation with yourself
Love and Light Darling!

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