Ask Us Anything!

6 Apr

“One of my friends has always been a bit flaky, but recently it’s becoming worse- she cancels days out and shopping dates only an hour or two before we’re supposed to meet up. It’s really frustrating especially when she doesn’t give a reason about why she’s cancelling. What do I do?” 

Rubyyy says: Hmmmm Interesting… I think this could be a few things and therefore I will give two answers…

First! Maybe your friend just needs a little reminder of how precious your time is and that though you can understand changing plans from time to time, this new level of flakiness is disrespectful to you and also your friendship – this is a simple, non-confrontational chat over coffee or a cocktail. However, if you get a sense that she doesn’t think it’s a big deal, perhaps you need to reconsider the friendship and how much time, energy and love you are investing.

Second! There have been times in the past where I have been your friend: flakey, disconnected, seemingly uncaring and it wasn’t a reflection on the friendship per se, I was really struggling in myself and on my journey. I was finding it very hard to see people I really cared about because I was either not ready to communicate how I was struggling OR feeling so deep in my sadness I couldn’t begin to see a way out. I hope your friend isn’t feeling like this but this kind of avoidance can sometimes signal a fear of connection, of being seen and ultimately the belief that you don’t deserve love and friendship. Maybe when you have the coffee/cocktail to communicate your feelings you could stay really open and check in with your friend, see where she really is

I love you sweet one! You deserve loyal, lovely and light friendships

Love and Light to you

xxx

R

 

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