Ask Us Anything!

26 Jan

“I’m worried about one of my close friends as I’ve started noticing little cuts/scars on her arms. Could this be self inflicted? I want to help her but don’t know how to go about it”

Becky says: Hi, you say this is your close friend? Well my first answer would be to go and talk to her, no one likes to find out that you’ve gone and spoken about them and it would be kinder if you consult her first.

You then need to note her response. If you still think something is up then you need to go and speak to an authorative figure, someone who can help and someone you know she can trust. Remember she may be defensive, this may suggest a guilty conscience.

The first thing to find out is why she is doing it and work from there. With the authoritive figure you should consult a doctor and/or a counsellor so that she can have someone to talk to.

Remember to always be a friend and never accuse her of doing it for attention. This may not only insult her but also make it worse.

Rubyyy says: Hi there darling *Big Hugs* Hmmm Well that’s a tricky one you’ve got there, isn’t it?

In my experience, most people who cut themselves out of anything other than sadness, depression, are performance artists – I’m assuming this is not the case with your friend – and though this is a specific sexual practice too, you’re a bit younger so I’m going to assume your friend is not into “blood play” during sexy times.

Here’s the thing, you’ve just noticed it, you’re not sure… I would sayyy, keep an eye on it and note any other physical changes in your friend: weight loss, quality of the skin (dark circles, increase in blemishes) and overall does she/he seem like she’s/he’s taking care of themselves.

I wouldn’t confront them just yet but rather, invite them out for a coffee, a walk or whatever you normally do to get the talking and sharing flowing. Give them space to express themselves and don’t pressure, just make it clear to them that they have a safe space to come to whenever they’re ready.

And a note: if your friend “gets worse” and you become more concerned about their state of spirit, it is not your duty to take it all on. You can care for, lift and love your friend with all your might but receiving support for yourself and directly for them is important. Approach an elder you trust will respect you and your friend as young adults, but also still kids, and advise, guide and support you both.

Love and light dear one xxx

If you have a question for our Agony Aunts, email them at ask.yellowbunting@yahoo.co.uk

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